The greatest liquid known to man.

You may be every day sitting around one day feeling resentful and think to yourself what the French have ever done for me? Let me tell you what they’ve done for me. They have given me a superpower. A superpower most people have access too but overlook for the easy, cheap way out. I however do not overlook this amazing discovery. I am talking about the greatest liquid to ever be bottled, Evian water. This is how it works. It starts as snow or rain and begins a long, slow, journey filtered by glaciers. What glacier you may ask? The best goddamn glaciers on earth, The French Alps. It takes 15 years to make it down the glacial plateau created over 50,000 years ago. This was discovered by a French nobleman, the Marquis de Lessert. He casually found this source while thirsty on a stroll in the town of Évian-les-Bains, a small town in the foot of the Alps. He couldn’t believe how crisp and light the water was. So, he started letting people know about it. And they loved it. The water started to be sold to the community and by 1806 people wanted to do more than just drink the water. They wanted to BE in it. So, the first thermal spa opened. Word spread and people wanted it from further and further away. And by 1826 they started bottling it to send to places all over Europe. Finally, by 1978 Evian started reaching the globe and starting to import to America. This was a good year for America. We finally had access to the lightly crisped naturally filtered water that the Marquis fell in love with a few centuries earlier. All these years later and Evian makes my day better one sip at a time. This product doesn’t only hydrate me it genuinely makes me feel better about myself. I am confident with this brand. I'm running on the forces of nature. You can taste the years and years each droplet of water took down the glacial rocks then bottled to be put on ship, which is then unloaded on to a truck, followed by getting delivered to a grocer who unloads it to the shelves. All for me to stroll by It in the store one day to find it’s the thing I was missing in by life. Shoutout to capitalism for letting that happen by the way. But this water heals, and it changed me. I used to be tap man myself, even a hose water kind of guy. But ever since I’ve tasted that feeling on my lips and let by body experience that glacial filter, I can never go back. Let your body experience the power of the French Alps. It will not be disappointed. And I know a lot of you are gonna say, “Isn’t it expensive!?” Yes, it cost about 1.50 USD per liter depending how you buy it. But fuck off. How much do you spend on other liquids that actually poison you. Alcohol, Coca-Cola, juice, or “so-called” energy drinks. Evian is cheaper or comparable to all these. And what do you get? Sugar brother, sugar. So, spend your cash where it counts and make the change to the superpower that is available in most grocers across the country. DON’T drink sugar water, do drink Evian. I don’t think any modern person can afford not to be running their live on Evian. That being said, give the French some credit. They had Napoleon who was pretty amazing. They also have the French press. A work of genius. I believe the created the metric system as well. As the only things that come to mind, not too shabby Frenchman, not too shabby. Im also an ignorant American so, there’s that. The point is, Evian water is great. Get yourself some.